Stagnation and Preparation

Some days, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything in my months in Wonju. I feel like taking a part-time job was a poor decision. I could be making more money! These past few weeks have most certainly been one of those times. Luckily, in the last week or so, things have started to take an upturn that might begin to justify the monetary sacrifices that have been made thus far.

For a while, I have been feeling utterly lackluster professionally. What little elementary school teaching I do has been unfulfilling. I have been writing less than I did even last year, when I held a full-time job. I haven’t been keeping to any sort of streaming schedule. I have been neglecting this blog. The only aspect of my professional endeavours that I have been proud of is my adult classes, which I have actively striven to make as engaging and relevant to the students as possible, with moderate success. So I have been looking forward to those classes most of all.

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As far as my writing has been going, what little I was doing in that area was not giving me any sort of emotional or monetary payoff. I may have written an article or two for GosuGamers.net, but they weren’t articles that are going to get to the front pages of subreddits. The majority of the dripping tap of story pitches I sent to potential employers returned no sound once I had dropped them into the bucket that is the Internet. All that were honoured with responses were nothing more than polite declines. Until an acceptance came back.

Greater than that, an acceptance of an Esports-related pitch. My first actual paid Esports commission. Sure, it may not be much money, but it is the first time someone will actually be paying for my views and research in Esports. I was overjoyed at the news.

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I would like to say that I have been toiling endlessly on the piece, researching and refining it until it shines brighter than the red faces of Brexit voters when results were announced. Sadly, that would be a lie. But, I have been preparing and crafting the piece every day since I was chosen for the job, and I do feel that I will hand in a piece that I will be proud to put my digital signature on and claim as my first dip into the world of professional Esports writing.

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The other major preparation I have been doing is for travel. First, I will shortly be visiting my mother in Dubai, a reunion that I am excited for, because I haven’t seen my mother in a few months and it will be good to catch up. More significantly (sorry mom), Kris and I are headed to Seattle in the first weekend of August to attend The International (essentially the Dota 2 World Series). We are elated to be going, and neither of us can quite process the fact that the moment of departure is almost upon us.

So, while feelings of mediocrity will always feature in my internal monologue no matter how forcefully I try to eject them, they are currently being tempered by one minor success. Here’s hoping that I can chain a couple more onto it.

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