Sun, Sand, and Sore Bodies

Over the last weekend, Kris and I traveled together with the rest of our Ultimate team to compete in the final round of league play in the ROK-U Spring 2016 season. Games were hosted on Dadaepo beach in Busan. Some of you may recall that Busan was the home of victory in our previous season in ROK-U. This time around, the Wonju Knights headed to the southern tip of Korea with the goal of doing our best and having fun. And boy, did we do so.

Like most destinations in Korea, Busan is a fair commute from Wonju. We sat for 4 hours on a bus and an additional hour in a taxi before we arrived at Dadaepo itself. We kitted up, warmed up, and mentally prepared for our first game. We knew that our games on Saturday would be tough, especially considering that the majority of our team had never played competitive Ultimate on the beach before. The most notable effect of sand (apart from getting literally everywhere and needing to be washed out for days) is that everyone generally accelerates and runs slower. For the players on our team used to using their athleticism to outclass their opponents, it was a challenge. For players like me who are slow to begin with, we enjoy seeing everyone else on our level for a little bit.

The adjustment wasn’t easy, and we lost our first game quite severely. We did not make too many mistakes, but the experience from the other team allowed them to capitalise and score from every opportunity we gave them. After the game was over, we picked our heads up, gathered ourselves, and prepared for the second game. This game was played against the team currently at the top of the league standings. We should have been destroyed. But we weren’t! We learned from our mistakes in the first game and made them work for every point they scored. We ended up equalling our highest goal tally as well, showing that we could break the defense of the best teams in the league. We still lost, but it was a game where everyone played their hearts out.

Immediately after the game and post-game celebrations and discussions were finished, our team all took off their shirts and ran into the ocean to cool off. It may sound like a simple thing, but it was one of the moments that I’ve felt closest as a team. That refreshing swim began an afternoon and evening filled with revelry, smiles, and shouting far too loudly along with music. I mean, look at those fools in the cover photo. Do we look like we lost two games? Not a chance. Because we know that the most important things to us are growing as a team, giving everything we have, and having fun. And we did that.

As the sun dawned on Sunday (far too early for us that stayed out rather late), with some of the team nursing hangovers, we returned to Dadaepo for our third game of the weekend. The effects of the night before were clearly felt, as players on both sides were slower and tired more easily than they would have been on Saturday. Once more, we fought hard. Once more, we were defeated. But our minds were not entirely in the game. We were saving ourselves for the second game of the day.

This game was played against the team just above us in the standings. They were also from the same region as us. We had even trained with them before. Needless to say, there was a tense atmosphere in the air. Both teams knew that this was going to be a good game. And it most definitely was.

It was a back-and-forth game, with good play and mistakes present on both sides. Every player on both sides was giving their all. Points were long and obtained through continued strings of good play – no cheesy full-field hucks here. Our team managed to pull to a 2-point lead with around fifteen minutes to go. We thought we had it. Then our opponents turned it up a gear. They passed quicker. They cut harder. They found something deep within themselves, and pulled it back to even as the last minutes of the game approached. On what would be the last point, both teams were screaming from the sidelines, trying to give their players on the field whatever inspiration and energy they could muster. With one last break-side throw, the defense was broken. An inspired cut into the end zone. A score. We had lost, 4-5. We should have been gutted.

Instead, we were filled with pride. Pride at ourselves for giving it everything we had. Pride at the other team for doing the same. The loss stung, but that sting quickly faded away. Kris and I had never been more proud of our team. In that game, we showed how far we had come. From a team made up largely of people that had never played Ultimate before, we had become a calm, collected unit, capable of solid defense and flowing, devastating offense. Sure, we aren’t the most consistent, and our mistakes cost us, but as we sat on the beach afterwards, we knew that we had played our best. And that next time, our best will be even better.

 

 

Boards, Cards, and Happy Fun Times: My Four Favourite Tabletop Games

In my last post, I discussed how board games have impacted my life, and how they can help bring people together. Some games do this better than others. I may not have played a vast number of board games, but of the ones that I have, these are the ones that I have found to provide the most consistently fun experiences and worthy post-board-game-night stories. I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to try as many of these games as possible. You won’t be disappointed.

Munchkin

Image from fox.mmgn.com

In Munchkin, you start out as a level 1 character with no powers, abilities, or shiny things to make you more powerful. The aim of the game is to acquire loot, defeat monsters, acquire more loot, defeat bigger monsters, and eventually be the first Munchkin to reach level 10 and win the game.

Does this sound pretty dry and repetitive? Well, imagine that you’re facing up against parodies of classic gaming and pop culture tropes. In Munchkin, you can defeat Great Cthulhu with the Necronookiecon, or defeat a robotic version of Queen Victoria with a cane version of a gunsaw. The strength of Munchkin is its sense of humour. Whilst the game is mostly pretty balanced, the cards will often have you chuckling throughout your entire game due to the sheer insanity of the humour.

There are a host of different versions of Munchkin, with a unique setting in each. My personal favourites are Munchkin Cthulhu, Adventure Time Munchkin, and Munchkin Steampunk. If you’re interested to see how Munchkin plays, check out famous geek Will Wheaton play the game with Steve Jackson (the creator of Munchkin) and some of his friends here.

Love Letter

Image from The Nerds’ Table

In Love Letter, you are one of up to four suitors vying for the affections of a princess. Each turn, you play one of two possible cards to try and eliminate the other suitors from the round. If you are the last suitor remaining in a particular round, or you have the card of highest number value of the players left, you win a token of the princess’ affection. The first person to a set number of tokens wins the game (this varies depending on the number of players in the game).

What I adore about Love Letter is the amount of game you get for its size. Some games take up a large box. Love Letter is 16 cards, 4 rules cards, and the tokens of affection, all stored in a small cloth bag. It is perfect for occupying down times when travelling. Like Munchkin, there are a host of different versions of Love Letter, from Munchkin to Batman to my personal favourite, Adventure Time (you may be seeing a trend here). It is simple to explain and play, but has high replay value because of the shenanigans possible with the effects of each card. Watch Will Wheaton and co. play Love Letter here!

King of Tokyo

Image from davidkelly.me

In King of Tokyo, each player takes control of a monster. Players take turns rolling dice to see which monster will be crowned King of Tokyo by earning the most victory points or simply smashing the other monsters into the ground. During the course of the game, players can upgrade their monsters to have things like poison spit or psychic probes, each of which has unique gameplay effects.

King of Tokyo is probably my favourite quick and simple board game. It looks great, the game is well-balanced, it is easy to explain, and every person that I have played it with has loved it. There is great replay value due to the different monsters and the quick nature of the game. Games take between 20-40 minutes, so no-one’s brain is going to hurt overly much after a game or two. This game is great for families, game nights, and for anyone who enjoys playing with monsters and having fun. Watch Will Wheaton and friends play it here.

Cosmic Encounter

Image from fantization.com

If King of Tokyo is probably my favourite quick and easy game, Cosmic Encounter is probably my favourite game of a higher complexity. Whilst it is still not a whole-day-spanning, sprawling game like the Twilight Imperiums of the world, there is a depth of play in Cosmic Encounter that is far greater than the other games on this list.

In Cosmic Encounter, each player chooses one of 50 possible alien races. Each race has a unique power that breaks the rules of the game in some way. The players will use their powers during encounters with other players. These encounters revolve around encounter cards, which can be peaceful or aggressive. However, these cards are played face-down, so the possibility for shenanigans is high. A player wins the game by securing five colonies in other players’ territories. Unlike most games, multiple players can win the game at the same time. Here is a video explaining the game in a simple, accessible, and quick way.

Cosmic Encounter is a phenomenal game. From the sheer variety of powers available, to the heated discussions that happen during the encounters themselves, some of my fondest memories from game nights come from Cosmic Encounter. This is a game where almost anything is possible, and slyness and fast-talking ability are rewarded.

So, from the simple beauty of Love Letter, to the smashing fun of King of Tokyo, to kicking down doors in Munchkin, or shenanigans in space with Cosmic Encounter, these are my four favourite tabletop games right now. Many games came close to making it, but there is just something special about each of these four games. If you want to play a good game, you can’t go wrong with any of these, in my personal opinion. The great thing about games is that everyone has their own favourites. For some more good recommendations, check out TableTop (the video series by Will Wheaton I’ve linked multiple times already) or the BoardGameGeek leaderboards. There are board games for you. Go out and find them!

Board Games: The Universal Unifier

Gaming is a pastime that permeates almost every aspect of who I am as a person. I play games to relax. I play games to challenge my reaction times, logic, and emotions. I play games to tell stories. I play games to have stories told to me. The most social way that I play games is to have some fun with others. These games most often take the form of card or board games. Whether I play with my family, my friends, or my students, I find that games are a way to bring people together, regardless of circumstances.

Everyone has to start their gaming life somewhere. For most, this was playing simple games like Snakes and Ladders, Monopoly, or Bingo with their family. I am no different. I remember many weekends spent at my grandmother’s house trying to outwit my cousin and brother in order to win Monopoly. A board game or two were always present on family holidays, and a pack of cards was always at the ready. Anecdotes of hotly-contested games formed part of family banter – “Yeah, but you still couldn’t beat me at Monopoly!” was an oft-used retort to expressions of superiority. And yes, we played Monopoly to death.

As I grew older, particularly when I entered university, the door into the true world of board games was opened to me. All around me, dozens of games that I had never even heard of before were played and enjoyed. I took one last mental look at Monopoly and dove in. I played games of all sizes, lengths, complexities, and themes. I hunted for Thunderstones and Munchkinned my way to level 10. I became a successful, profitable bean farmer and laid train tracks throughout Europe. I planeswalked and fought giant monsters. I even fended off cannibals in a little house on a hill. I did all of this whilst bonding with friends that I keep in touch with to this day (although not as much as I should!).

When I landed in Korea, I thought that the attitude towards board and card games would be different. In the land where League of Legends and Minecraft reign supreme, I held little hope that my students would even want to open a game that wasn’t an app on a phone or computer. I should have rather remembered the experiences that I’ve been lucky enough to have throughout my life. When I first showed my students one of my board games, their eyes lit up, and I saw my young self in them. Now, board game lessons are a highly effective reward for good behaviour and work ethic.

Life without board and card games would be a lot less interesting. They bring people together like nothing else. Just this week, I have already had one board game night, with the potential to have two more before the week is over. Every time I pick up a game, I think of all of the memories that I have made with that game. If it’s a new game, I am filled with the giddy anticipation of what is to come. In my next post, I will list the games that I couldn’t live without (it will be out this week, I swear!). Until then, play more games!

A Good Few Days

I have neglected you, dear readers, and for that I apologize. I bring much news! The time between my last post and this has been filled with positive events for Kris and I. I have covered my first Esports event, successfully applied for a Dota 2 magazine, played some Ultimate, and taken another step towards that opaque concept known as adulthood.

The news of which I am arguably most proud is my coverage of the recent HearthStone Seoul Cup World Invitational. The tournament hosted 8 of the top HearthStone players from around the world in two days of single-elimination competition. A few days before the tournament, an expansion was released for HearthStone, resulting in some crazy, fresh strategies to be showcased at the tournament.

While I did enjoy watching the games immensely, my most significant moments lay just outside of the arena. I managed to secure interviews with StrifeCro and Reynad, two prominent personalities in the HearthStone scene. Reynad is a name that I have known for a while, but never explored deeply enough to have a personal opinion on. He deeply impressed me with his knowledge of the game, and love for both HearthStone and Esports in general. I gained immense respect for him in our short conversation. I have long been a fan of StrifeCro, and he lived up to my every expectation as a kind, soft-spoken gentleman. I even managed to get his signature and a picture with him. My inner fanboy was bursting with glee.

I transcribed these interviews and turned them into features for GosuGamers. The StrifeCro interview even managed to reach the front page of the HearthStone subreddit! I was happy that my hard work and overcoming my shy nature paid off. I believe that my interview with Reynad will be even more popular, but it has yet to be released.

My other major Esports-related success came from the Dota 2 sphere. A few weeks ago, I responded to a post on reddit calling for Dota 2 writers to put together a magazine about Dota 2. There were apparently over 240 applicants. I was one of the 6% who were judged as worthy. I am working on my first piece for the first issue, and I hope to live up to the faith that has been placed in me.

After a busy few days of writing and teaching, I was happy to enjoy a long weekend. Kris and I spent most of Thursday and Friday relaxing, catching up with friends, and doing some Ultimate practice. It felt good to throw a disc again, and the practice would prove necessary. On Saturday, we had a chilled picnic for a friend’s birthday. Nothing went too out of hand, because we all had Ultimate the next day.

Sunday came around, and with it our first games of Ultimate for several weeks. We played three games, and had played some of the best Ultimate that we have all season. However, our team’s play was let down by small mistakes being punished by the opponents, and we lost all three of the games. Our team was a little downhearted, but we all enjoyed the day despite the losses.

This morning, I received word that I have been accepted for a credit card. Whilst this might not seem like that big of a deal, I was genuinely worried that I would be rejected due to the part-time nature of my job. I am glad Korea thinks me responsible enough for a credit card. I’m not sure I would trust me. When the card arrives, I will be finally be able to book plane tickets to Seattle for the holiday that Kris and I plan to take in August. As August is drawing ever closer, every day that we can have to complete the American visa application process may prove to be necessary.

So, all told, a good few days indeed. I am making my way in Esports slowly but surely, I am making sure I don’t turn into a pudgey doughball, and things are coming together for the big trip in August. I will strive to blog more regularly, and let you all know how things are going as they happen, and not all in one go like this. Here’s hoping that the majority of my updates are as positive as this one!

 

New Experiences and Post-Guest Normality

On Sunday evening, we bid my aunt farewell after a truly refreshing and heart-warming nine-day stay. My girlfriend Kris and I did our best to try and entertain her. We showed her as many of the sights, sounds, smells, and experiences as we could. After her stay, we were exhausted and saddened. By showing her Korea, we were reminded exactly what we enjoy about the country. Despite this, while she was here, I was expecting to hit a wave of productivity after she left. Now that she has gone…it just hasn’t really happened.

My aunt’s visit was definitely one of the highlights of our time in Korea so far. Like the rest of the visits from relatives that we’ve had, we spent the time showing my aunt what we love about Korea. We visited Seoul multiple time to explore the city as best we could. We saw Nanta, the fantastic Korean cooking musical dance comedy show. Yes, I was picked to go up on stage again – I maintain my 100 percent participation rate in Korean theatre. We ate all of our favourite dishes.

This visit, we chose to go one step further. Because my aunt visited for so long, we had more time than usual that we needed to fill. So, we did a few things that even we hadn’t done before. My aunt and I visited the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea. Kris, my aunt and I went strawberry picking. Finally, we saw some new films that none of us had seen. This combination of old and new made my aunt’s visit one to remember for her and us.

 

Now that she’s left, I should be rapidly progressing with all of my endeavours. Even though my teaching schedule has become more full, I still have a good amount of time to devote to other interests such as writing and streaming. Disappointingly, it hasn’t really happened that way. I have largely been very lazy and content to derp on the Internet and just play games. This blog has been far too long in coming. I haven’t written much for GosuGamers. I haven’t even managed to keep my fledgling stream schedule.

However, the last few days haven’t been entirely without achievement. I applied for my first credit card (approval will hopefully come soon). I did manage to stream a bit of HearthStone yesterday. I was quite happy with my technical performance, even if I was the only one watching myself. Most notably, I have arranged to be the official GosuGamers media rep at a HearthStone tournament in Seoul this weekend. I am nervous to talk to some of the players that I’ve been watching for a while, but I am also excited for my first event as an interviewer, photographer, and journalist.

My time in Wonju continues to be filled with a mixture of adventure, fun, work, poductivity, and laziness. I am still struggling to find the balance between producing content and enjoying the freer schedule of part-time work. Luckily for me, Kris has been behind me all the way. She might come home and be jealous of my free time, but she has been the support that I need. She has given me space to find my own motivation, but also pushed me when I really needed a push. The coming weeks and months look to be more of the same rollercoaster. I can’t wait to ride.

 

Visiting Relatives: Good for the Soul, not the Waistline

For the past few days, Kris and I have had the wonderful experience of having my aunt visit us in South Korea. This is her first time in the country, and we have made every effort to try and help her to experience as much of the culture of Korea as we can in her short stay. Surprisingly to me, a large portion of this Korean exploration has involved gorging ourselves on as much of the local cuisine as possible. Between eating every cultural meal that we feel is worthwhile and there being a break in our regular Ultimate season, I am currently feeling fatter than I have in a long while.

Since my aunt landed, our travels have revolved around eating food that we find to be either distinctly Korean or unavailable in our home country of South Africa. We have slurped our way through jjimdak (steamed chicken, which is Kris’ and my favourite Korean dish). We have shared several kimbap (rice rolls filled with meat and vegetables). We have even shared American staples like Baskin-Robbins and Krispy Kreme, which are outside the South African realm of food (I know Krispy Kreme just opened in South Africa, but who waits 4 hours for a doughnut?).

In between our gastronomic explorations, we have managed to get a good deal of actual cultural exploration in as well. We have been to Seoul twice, seen the demilitarized zone, walked around our little town of Wonju, and generally relished in each other’s company. This weekend, we go on a bungee jumping and strawberry picking excursion on Saturday. Then (if our bodies are not completely seized up through overeating and laziness) we will be completing a 10-kilometer run on Sunday. Whilst the run may be the beginnings of the road back to peak condition, there will certainly still be much further to go before I am rid of the spare tyre I see at the bottom of my shirt every morning.

My aunt may be leaving for South Africa again all too soon, but we have made memories that will last a long time. A lot of these involve various foodstuffs. Some of them involve seeing the wonders of Korea. Some of them are just the small moments that we spend in each other’s presence doing otherwise ordinary things. All of them involve making the most of the short time we have before she returns to South Africa. It has been a superb few days, and the days ahead look like they might be even better.

JARAXXUS IS…sorry.

Friends, the Legend dream is dead. I thought I’d be up front about that. I was hoping to update you all saying how proud I was of my new ranks, and how I am close to achieving my goals. Alas, this is not the case, for a number of reasons. I was simply not winning a high enough percentage of games. My aunt arrives tomorrow for a 9-day stay, during which my 6-hour HearthStone marathons will seem a little rude. Finally, I’ve been experimenting with a new deck, and it hasn’t been winning many games. However, it has won over my heart.

For the majority of my HearthStone experience, I have been a player who has played mainly decks that aim to end the game quickly by attacking my opponent before attempting to control the board. With the newest deck that I have been trying, I have pushed my skills further than I think they ever have. In the process, I have also fulfilled an unrelated HearthStone dream of mine. This dream revolves around owning a particular card. Which card is this?

LORD JARAXXUS. Since I first started playing HearthStone, Lord Jaraxxus has been a card that I have wanted to craft, but could never truly justify it. Decks that used Jaraxxus have always included other expensive-to-craft cards that I didn’t have. This meant that, up until recently, I did not have the card pool to use Jaraxxus in an effective way. Until recently. Over time, I have picked up these other cards, unwittingly paving the way for the Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion to burst his way into my collection.

But why have I wanted this card so badly? It’s just a card, right? Not really. He may be a powerful card (hence his expensive-to-craft nature), but he is far from the best card in the game. He fills a particular role, allowing slower decks to continually pile on the pressure as the game goes on.

Also, he just happens to be the most awesome card in the game to me. No contest. Take a look, through this cool video:

Whilst mine may not be golden (as the one in the video is), the responses are still as epic. Up until now, I’ve been fairly stingy with my crafting. Jaraxxus was as much a craft for usefulness as the sheer joy of finally obtaining something you have wanted for a long time.

And he’s won me some games. He’s also lost me some games. Unfortunately for my Legend run, he’s lost more than he’s won. And yet, every time I play the card, I smile. I couldn’t care less. I have been losing without even being salty about it. I may not be closer to Legend, but I’m improving as a player and having fun whilst doing it with the help of my demonic buddy. Maybe I’ll get Legend next month. Maybe Jaraxxus will help me get there. Whether he does or not, I look forward to spawning a host of Infernals and laughing maniacally.

 

 

 

The Grind

This month, I have made a decision to do something that I’ve wanted to do for many a month. The particular endeavour in question requires patience, concentration, and, more than pretty much anything else, time. What is this task that will require the entire month of April to complete? Is it some momentous, life-altering paper that will shake the foundations of society itself? Have I begun to knit? No, my goal is even more geeky and niche than those – I have decided to make a run for Legendary rank in Hearthstone.

For those who don’t know, Hearthstone is Blizzard’s free-to-play online card game. The cards are very colourful, bright, and feature many pleasing sounds and flashing lights to reel in the kids. However, beneath this pleasant exterior lies a card game with significant depth, variance o play styles, and competition.

The game has a number of play modes to suit all tastes. There is a casual, once-a-week Tavern Brawl, where the game rules get mixed up and everyone has a jolly good time. There is the Arena, where you pay in gold to draft a unique deck from a slew of three-card choices. Finally, there is Play mode, where you construct decks using cards from your collection (which is grown by earning or buying card packs) and pit your deck against real-world players. Whilst there is a friendly option, the core of Play mode is the Ranked ladder. It is in this ladder that my grind lies.

In Ranked mode itself, there are 20 ranks, above which lies the elusive Legend rank. Every time you win a match, you gain a star and move up a little towards the next rank. Every time you lose, you lose a star and slip closer to where you started. Up until rank 5, you can go on a winning streak after three successive victories, and earn double stars for each win until you lose a game. This allows you to be able to go through the lower ranks more quickly.

At rank 5, the winning streaks stop. This means that the grind is slower. The players here are all trying to reach Legend. Rank 5 is accordingly considered the half-way point for the grind to legend. The better winrate that your deck has, the fewer games you will have to play to get to Legend. Here is a handy table from Tempostorm to demonstrate. This is the amount of games that you will have to play in order to reach Legend from Rank 5, depending on the win rate of your particular deck.

 

Considering each game takes approximately 8 minutes to play, that adds up to a lot of time spent for an achievement and an in-game card back.

I haven’t even reached rank 5 yet – at time of writing, I sit hovering around rank 10. I have ground my way up, but I still have a long climb ahead. I believe I can make it. I just need to play as much as I can, and I will eventually get there. Whilst I may not be the most skilled, I know that I am good enough to duke it out with the other aspiring Legend players.

All in all, I have many hours sitting in front of my computer ahead of me, trying to outwit a never-ending horde of faceless opponents standing in my way of glory. I hope that I will have enough time to get there. I have been streaming most of my grinding over at twitch.tv/pizzadogcasting. So, if you feel like hanging out in the digital world, watching me get frustrated and happy and frustrated some more, I’d love for you to join me in my pursuit of digital prestige. Now I have to go and get a few more stars before bedtime.

One Month in Wonju: Achievements and Goals

Kris and I have now spent one entire month living in the lovely, pokey town of Wonju. In our time here, we’ve done a bunch of stuff that I am proud of. On the other side of the coin, there are a whole lot of things that I would like to get done in the remainder of our time here, however long or short that may be. Here are five goals that I feel are most necessary to aim for in the coming months, and five achievements that Kris and I have made, in no particular order.

Goals

1.) I need to be far more pro-active in the mornings. Now that I have a more flexible job (see the achievements below), I need to make more effective use of my time. Whilst playing games is great and all, I need to start doing it on stream and creating content.

2.) I want to be able to play one more point of Ultimate Frisbee between each rest point. Currently I feel that my fitness levels are limiting my play, and I am sick and tired of feeling this way.

.3.) I should probably wear pants more around the house in the mornings.

4.) I want to find at least one paying Esports writing job, be it a once-off article or a recurring contract, in the next 4 months. Gotta start somewhere.

5.) I want to keep enjoying life as much as I have in the last month!

Achievements

1.) Kris and I (almost entirely Kris) organised an Ultimate Frisbee team in Wonju, and successfully got most of the team to our first week of games.

2.) Kris and I both managed to renew our ARCs, so we can legally stay in Korea for another year. The details may be written in permanent marker, but apparently they’re legit!

3.) I managed to secure myself a great, flexible part-time job. It gives me time to write, and lessens my time with kindergarten children. My sanity is closer to normal levels than it was last year.

4.) Kris and I have extensively cut down on the amount of cold drink (soda for my American readers) that we drink. It was largely an unconscious decision, as buying soda just never settled into our Wonju shopping routine. However, when we noticed this, we decided that this is a good thing and haven’t bought cold drink for our house since. We might have a can or two when out and about though, but nowhere near the three 1.5-litre bottles that we were drinking every week.

5.) I have begun writing for GosuGamers.net with regularity again. During the move, I wasn’t able to write a piece for them for weeks. Now, I’ve done two this week already. I want to write more in order to get more exposure, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Overall, it’s been a stellar month. Whether it’s because we’re not nearly as overwhelmed by the newness that governed our teaching experiences last year, whether we’re part of a better community, or maybe because we’re honestly just enjoying ourselves more readily, Kris and I have had a good time of it in our first month in Wonju. Here’s to many more!

‘Twas the Night Before ROK-U

Tomorrow is the start of the ROK-U Spring season. It will mark a bunch of firsts for Kris and I. Our team, the Wonju Knights, will be playing our first games together. It will be our first set of games as captain and assistant captain. It will be my first true trial as a handler. How do I feel. PUMPED!

Over the past few days, however, I have been feeling less than enthused for the weekend’s festivities. This may strike you, the reader, as odd. Regular readers will know that Ultimate is one of the things that has kept me going in Korea. I enjoy almost every aspect of it, from the challenge of competition to, sometimes, talking to other human beings about mutual interests (gasp).

Despite the many draws that I have to Ultimate, I always feel profoundly disinterested and disheartened in the days leading up to any major event. I feel useless at the game when I think about the people that I will be playing with and against. I perpetually bring myself down by how bad at the game I perceive myself to be. At many points, I flat out consider not going, so my team will be better off without me.

In my heart, I know that these thoughts are largely unfounded. Sure, I’m not the most experienced, skilled, fastest, fittest, or smartest player on the field. Sure, I might make a play that might cost my team the game. I may also be hit in the temple with a small stone flung from a fellow player’s foot and die.

Before every major sporting or competitive event, I travel down the roads of ‘What If?’ and ‘I’m Not Worthy’. These treks to Downertown are bad habits that I haven’t quite been able to shake.

What Ultimate has allowed me to do is grapple with and fight off these thoughts on a more regular basis. By no means do I avoid them completely. I still make myself feel like I have less aptitude for my pursuits than a slug has for playing the guitar. But I am also doing it for far less time than I used to. The self-shaming used to last several days, sometimes longer than a week. I would just feel like dirt, and I used to associate this with things that I love. This, of course, is less than optimal use of my emotional resources.

Over the past year and a bit, I have become far more self-aware, particularly of my negative habits. I still tend to gloss over my positive character traits. Nevertheless, I am working on it, and Ultimate has helped me do so. By dealing with this problem more often, I have been able to detach the negative emotions from the activity itself. I now know that it is just maladaptive behaviour that I need to rectify.

What this dissociation has helped me to do is get over it far more rapidly, and get back on the hype train more readily. A year ago, the night before an Ultimate weekend, I would be running through the possible illnesses I could fake in order to get out of it without losing face with my friends. Now, while the negative thoughts still linger, I try and focus on the positive. I try to see more angels, and fewer demons.

Apart from the more frequent resolution of my inner conflict, the other major help in this regard has been Kris. She has gotten my lazy, self-hating butt out of bed more times than I can count. Previously, when my activities weren’t ones I shared with Kris, it was far easier to skip. Now, she holds me accountable. And it has helped me climb the mountain of self-positivity.

So, here I sit, feeling not-so-down and amped for tomorrow’s play. We may win, we may lose. We will finally get our swag kit that we have been waiting for for weeks. Most importantly, I will have fun with people I enjoy spending time with, playing the sport we all love. I may be average at best at it, but that won’t stop me having a great weekend.